In July 2018, we welcomed Quinn James Geertsma into our lives, as he was prayer in our hearts for so long. We celebrated his arrival into this world after having traveled a journey we could have never predicted, nor prepared for. A glimpse into our story would only be appropriate; not only to share our path, but to encourage and support those around us who may be traveling a difficult journey of their own.
Infertility has been an intricate piece of our lives and we tried our best to navigate this bumpy and unpredictable journey which began just over 4.5 years ago. Infertility is scary and the word alone continues to make my heart sink. Through this, we realized we were potentially facing the loss of our dreams without anything promised or guaranteed. It is a journey that we never thought we would travel, but now it is a monumental part of our story.
Our story began with a conversation with my OB/GYN about what our next steps would be, as we knew we would need additional support to try to begin our family. We were given different fertility medications to try, some helpful suggestions and well wishes as we tried something new. Month after month and different trial and error medications, nothing worked. Heartbreak, tears and the fear of the unknown crept into our hearts and flooded our minds with the thoughts of many “what ifs”. We continued to work through possible suggestions, again, coming up with empty hands and heavy hearts.
Through this time, our doctor suggested undergoing a minor surgery, a laparoscopy, to see if that was causing any delays. I received an endometriosis diagnosis post-surgery and shortly after, we continued our journey. And after a few months, we landed at The Fertility Center under the direction of my doctor. We felt like this was just another step in our journey; a journey that seemed to be full of “stop and go” and waiting, waiting, and more waiting.
We learned to rest in the waiting and trust there was a plan by our most holy Creator. In the best and worst circumstances, God had placed us exactly where we needed to be. It took some time to convince ourselves of that, as we felt we were walking mindlessly on this journey with God feeling distant and nonexistent. Little did we know, He was there, carefully holding our hand and carrying us at times when we couldn’t take another step forward.
We met with Dr. Dodds and he explained all of our options in great detail. After leaving the office, our initial plan was set into motion with our first IUI along with some mild fertility medication. Time passed and we found the results of our first IUI: unsuccessful. Again, crushed and heartbroken. Wearily, we said, “Let’s try again.” Month #2 came and went with another IUI result: unsuccessful.
As we were getting ready for IUI #3, we were called with a “concern” with one of our monthly ultrasounds. We had to pause our IUI fertility treatments for another surgery, a hysteroscopy, in hopes that was causing the issue of unsuccessful IUIs. All seemed well again and we continued on with two more IUI’s, both unsuccessful. This had made life seem like time was escaping us, as if we were letting time go with only heartbreaking results. In the depths of this agony, we knew that we were only walking through our darkest valley. We had to remind ourselves that when we felt centered at our lowest points, we knew that we were not going to be there forever.
Moving forward, we decided that IVF was our best next option. We began IVF in September 2018 and honestly didn’t know what to expect or what stood before us. We were clinging to hope, which felt like the only thing we had. Although, hope can change everything; it anchored us firmly in our faith and it allowed us to keep our dreams alive while waiting for the grand finale. Even when we felt like giving up, we didn’t. We didn’t want to leave before the miracle happened.
Our IVF miracle began like this: intense fertility medications and injections, ultrasounds, egg retrieval, and two embryos transferred, followed by a waiting period. In early November 2018, I went for blood work at our local hospital. Walking in, time seemed to stand still as this blood work held our hopes and dreams; all we could do was await the test results. We went early in the morning so we could know later that afternoon. Anxiously, we waited for The Fertility Center nurse to call. When we received the call, we were told we had positive news, a positive pregnancy test!
There it was, the news we had been waiting for. Joy, relief, thankfulness and pure excitement filled our hearts, yet we remained cautiously grounded as any couple may be who walks the road of infertility. All we could think was, God. He did this, in His time and in His way. At 12 weeks, we graduated from The Fertility Center, back to our regular OB. We are incredibly thankful for everyone at TFC, as the moments we spent there are what led us to where we are today.
We share our story to encourage, enlighten and bring hope to those traveling along a similar path to ours. At moments, infertility felt isolating, life changing and all encompassing. We learned how to endlessly lean on God and always look to Him, as He has been faithful and will always continue to be in our lives as we parent little Quinn. We are incredibly thankful to those who have prayed for us, who have sat with us in the most discouraging moments and those who have lifted us up, focusing our eyes on what is ahead. At first glance, it appeared too hard. But we learned to look again; to always look again.
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